global_db.py

import sqlite3
contag = sqlite3.connect("./db/tags.db")
curtag = contag.cursor()
conmisc = sqlite3.connect("./db/misc.db")
curmisc = conmisc.cursor()
items = [
("one_who_knocks", "Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!"),
("gas_station_weed", "Don't never buy no weed from the gas station, bro. If the n-- ain't in your contacts, don't ever go to the gas station, bro. I went up there at 11 o'clock last night trynna get me some weed. Bro, I smoked that shit, woke up, my motherfucking eye was right here and my other eye is still right here. Explain, bro. I gotta go look for this n-- bro, what the fuck did you sell me, bro? Look at me, bro, I'm hideous."),
("bing_chilling", "Zǎoshang hǎo zhōngguó, xiànzài wǒ yǒu bīngqílín! Wǒ hěn xǐhuān bīngqílín! Dànshì sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9, bǐ bīngqílín"),
("saiyan", "Then something just snapped, something inside of me. \"No! No more! That's it! I don't care!\" I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about being better than Kakarott. I didn't care about being a super Saiyan. I didn't care if I lived! I didn't care about anything and then IT happened."),
("wack", "His hair? Wack. His gear? Wack. His jewelry? Wack. His foot stance? Wack. The way he talks? Wack. The that he doesn't even like to smile? Wack. Me, I'm tight as fuck!"),
("announcement", "I've come to make an announcement:\nShadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was \"this big\" and I said \"that's disgusting\".\nSo I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, its the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong.\nHe fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right this is what you get, MY SUPER LASER PISS. Except I'm not pissing on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher, I'M PISSING ON THE MOON. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA, I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!\nYou have twenty-three hours before the piss drop-el-ets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too."),
("vaporeon", "Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3\"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more."),
("flareon", "Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again."),
("lys", "Your life is everything, you serve all purpose; You should treat yourself NOW! And give yourself a piece of that oxygen in the ozone layer, that's covered up so that you can breath in this blue-trapped bubble. Cuz you know what I'm here for! To worship you. LOVE YOURSELF! I mean that, with a 100%, with a 1000%."),
("kys", "Your life is nothing, you serve zero purpose, you should kill yourself NOW, and give somebody else a piece of that oxygen in the ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside of this blue trapped bubble. Like what are you even here for? To worship me? Kill yourself. and I mean that with a 100%, with a 1000%."),
("warlock", "Look, I don't mean to be an oblivion gatekeeper, but I've had it up to here with all these fake warlocks and witches who think just because they can walk in the Spells-R-Us; Buy a couple mana stones and read a scroll; that suddenly makes them a spellcaster? Like bro, you're not a real wizard, you're not! Like, do you even know who you're talking to? I'm the big magus, arch magus, so don't be coming in here with your dollar store incantations and mistaking them for master evocations. Like, I've never seen you cast Firaga, I've never seen you utter Power Word: Kill! Like, you can barely even tap into the AEther! I've been to the ethereal plane; None of the entities know your name! So please stop acting like you an adept at the Arcane Arts when you flunked out of Lancaster Academy! You currently go to Conjurer's Community College! Like, you're barely even a magician at this point! Well let's break it down seriously, 'cause you are useless! You are a mediocre mage, your sorceries are subpar, your summons don't listen to you, your grimoire looking more like a pamphlet! I've never seen you post a rune spread! You have parlor tricks at best! Half your hexes fizzle, and to top it all off, you don't even be pondering your orb! You dont even PONDER. YOUR. ORB. Like what can you do?! You might as well join the Necromancer's Guild, I always heard they looking for dead weight. STUPID"),
("insanity", "Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact... same fucking thing... over and over again expecting... shit to change... That. Is. Crazy. The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me, so, I shot him. The thing is... He was right. And then I started seeing, everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing... over and over and over and over again thinking 'this time is gonna be different' no, no, no please... This time is gonna be different, I'm sorry, I don't like... The way...  ... you are looking at me... Okay, Do you have a fucking problem in your head, do you think I am bullshitting you, do you think I am lying? Fuck you! Okay? Fuck you!... It's okay, man. I'm gonna chill, hermano. I'm gonna chill... The thing is... Alright, the thing is I killed you once already... and it's not like I am fucking crazy. It's okay... It's like water under the bridge. Did I ever tell you the definition... of insanity?"),
("faq", "I just fucked your mom.\n\n**FAQ**\n\n*What does this mean?*\n\nThe amount of times your mother has fucked has increased by one.\n\n*Why did I do this?*\n\nThere are several reasons I may deem your mother to be worthy of being fucked. These include, but are not limited to:\n\nI am horny\n\nI see yo mama\n\nwalter\n\nI fucked your mom\n\n*Am I going to get banned from Reddit too?*\n\nNo - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to fuck your mother again, which may put your mother fucking privileges in jeopardy.\n\n*I don't believe my mother deserved to be fucked upon. Can you un-fuck her?*\n\nSure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put cum back into my penis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of mothers gets fucked, and yours is likely no exception.\n\n*How can I prevent this from happening in the future?*\n\nAccept the reality that I stick my cock into your mother and move on. But learn from this mistake: you were a mistake because I forgot to wear a condom whilst fucking your mother. I will continue to fuck your mom until you improve your conduct. \n\n**Remember: fucking your mom is right, not a privilege.**"),

]

curtag.execute("DROP TABLE IF EXISTS global")
curtag.execute("CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS global(name TEXT PRIMARY KEY, content TEXT)")
for j in range(len(items)):
    curtag.execute("INSERT INTO global VALUES (?,?)", items[j])
contag.commit()

curmisc.execute("DROP TABLE IF EXISTS ninemaze")
curmisc.execute("CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS ninemaze(sid INTEGER PRIMARY KEY, skulls INTEGER)")
curmisc.execute("INSERT INTO ninemaze VALUES (?,?)", (0, 0))
conmisc.commit()